I had promised myself that I would not have posted the texts that were not mine on this piece of sea that I wanted to carve. However, in this turbulent time I can write so little .. and I could not really say when it will change. So all I can do is share one of the most beautiful things I've read a Stefano Benni - and so - in recent months. A good storyteller can save you when no one else can do it.
The Theory of "Bonus vital equipment (from Elianto)
" I believe, "said Thales-that the death of a person is not dependent on an illness or disease, if you prefer. diseases are, so to speak, of the tricks by which the Supreme OperatorNome conceals the old mechanism of life and death, namely the Individual Bonus Vitale. If I may say so, eminent paracolleghi, we will explain the "theory of the bonus" sketched by Cornelis Noon in the third stage of the asylum and I have developed and perfected. Codest theory holds that every human being before birth is given a bonus of vital activities, and this will in his earthly journey. For example, the bonus is included: three hundred thousand beers
one million and seventeen thousand sneezing
thirty trips abroad
the chance to say six hundred and sixteen thousand times the word "short"
seicentoventitrè footbaths
one million ice cream
three great loves
nine bicycles
six hundred and two swims
sixty liters of tears
forty-six km of spaghetti
three hundred and seventy thousand spelling mistakes
forty thousand crossword
three off the road a hundred and twenty three thousand hours of
poker
between ten million and seven cigarettes, cigars and pipe pull
sixteen big disappointments
... And so on for a total of 10 entries elvato 14.
-And how you calculated this figure? - Churches silicones.
-I said "some." We have then that Tom is found dead from a scaramaccino, heart attack, stroke. Your doctor will have no doubt it is the fault of the forgotten heart, cigarettes, triglycerides. Nothing could be further from the truth. He could have continued to smoke and eat: the fault is dello sforamento del bonus! Lo scaramaccino è stato solo l’arma del delitto, come avrebbe potuto esserlo un incidente stradale, o lo sbranamento da parte di una tigre, o un vaso di fiori da un ottavo piano. Tizio è morto, ripeto, perchè un attimo prima dell’ictus, ha magiato il milionesimo gelato, o ha detto “insomma” una volta di troppo, o ha pianto una lacrima in più di quelle che gli erano consentite. Naturalmente, c’è chi nasce particolarmente sfortunato: se un tale ha come bonus un solo starnuto o un solo litro di latte, non gli servirà a nulla avere trecentomila scopate a disposizione. Il poveretto starnutirà o tetterà e lo troveranno secco nella culla. Un bonus abbondante, ecco true health!
"But how can we know what our bonus? - Asked Satagius
-One can not, here's the thing! Here is the cunning of the operation, which hid it in some kind of genetic subcode inaccessible. Why? Because if we knew that our life is subject to the inexorable law Of this bonus, we are afraid of everything. She would smoke a cigarette, not knowing that causes cancer (in fact knows and smokes the same), but that could be the last of the bonus? Another example: you know a wonderful creature called Rosalinda, but years ago he already had a relationship with a girl of the same name. Would not be think that his bonus Rosalinde it includes one, or that his bonus kisses with Rosalind is dangerously close to exhaustion? For this maneuvering, in his divine cunning, simulates illness, accidents, fatalities and we get along consuming our bonus, and maybe we are poised on the last meters of noodle, we have the word on the tip of the tongue that will kill us, we ignore that There are only two sunsets over the sea.
And so irresponsible and frail
everyone spends his time fatal.
-From what you say, "said Silicon-then there would be worthwhile to treat disease, so much that decides the bonus.
-No! The disease must be cured for solidarity, and this is all the more noble because it is in vain. We must pretend that they are important, otherwise everyone will realize that our destiny is something far more dangerous. Also I am led to assume (even though my work on this point are just the beginning) that some diseases are probably just a defense against the bonus. We have for instance, that the bonus is running out for walks on the beach, tac, a stiff back and you will avoid the fatal walk. She already has a ticket to the last piano concerto granted to it, and voila, a sudden deafness puts it away. Diseases help stop the brink of the precipice. Silicones
-nonsense, "said lighting a cigarette.
-Not all that went on-Thales-behold, she lit a cigarette, maybe the number is 189765621 and nothing will happen, but if his bonus is nicotinic 189,765,622 to the next will be a shot and say to strength, was a smoker. But perhaps you could die for that one too "absurd," or (as I note today), because you're touching the ball. Think if your bonus spells ran out now! ... Just
-Silicones-paled, and turned to leave.
-What will be his bonus for opening doors? - Churches Satagius softly.
-I see you get the idea, "said Thales. Silicones
came out, consuming a good amount of bonus abuse. "
